Showing posts with label Politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Politics. Show all posts

Saturday, October 22, 2016

An Article from the Huffington Post

White, Conservative, Christian Friends — I Wish You Really Were Pro-Life 


John Pavlovitz
Pastor and Writer


You tell me that you’re voting for Donald Trump for one reason: because you’re pro-life.

Despite everything you’ve seen and know about this man (much of which you openly lament), you say that you just can’t support someone who doesn’t share your burden, and that you’re voting solely this issue.

Life, you say is the ultimate deal breaker for you.

I wish that were true.

I actually don’t believe you’re pro-life, I believe you’re anti-abortion, which is a far more selective and convenient defense of Humanity. From where I’m standing it seems as though “Life” for you, comprises a very narrow demographic — one that bears a striking resemblance to you. The unborn are easy to advocate for because you can idealize them into something palatable to you, something benign and comfortable, something in your own image.

You see, it’s not that you’re really pro-life, you’re pro-straight, white, Christian fetuses.

I can tell by how often your heavy burden for the sanctity of life evaporates upon delivery. In so many cases this compassion really has a nine-month expiration date, as if life begins at conception but ends upon leaving the birth canal. The completion of that third trimester is actually the shelf life of your passionate regard for much of the living.

From where I’m standing it seems as though ‘Life,’ for you, comprises a very narrow demographic — one that bears a striking resemblance to you.

Because if that life you say you so treasure, one day converts to Islam, you label it dangerous, you see it as a threat, you applaud suggestions of its expulsion, you deny it open worship.

If that life eventually comes out as LGBTQ, you condemn its soul, harass it in your workplace and church, try to prevent its marriage, tell it where and when it can use a public bathroom. You bully it and drive it to suicide.

If that life has brown skin and wears baggy pants and gets gunned down during a traffic stop, you not only have little grief over its loss, but readily blame it for its own execution.

If that life is strapped to a prison gurney and pumped full of drugs that will cease its lungs from expanding while its terrified mind comprehends it all, you celebrate the occasion as justice being served — after a last meal you resent having to pay for.

If that life has to endure its formative years in overcrowded, grossly underfunded public schools, you tell it to “pull itself up by its own bootstraps,” while nestled in the cloistered, privileged gated community of a Suburbia where bootstraps come with a birth certificate.

If that life has working parents who can’t make a living wage, you label it a lazy, unproductive drain on society always looking for handouts and trying to work the system to its advantage.

Because if that life, you say you so treasure, one day converts to Islam, you label it dangerous, you see it as a threat, you applaud suggestions of its expulsion, you deny it open worship.

If that life needs health care because its undeveloped heart can barely beat on its own, you’re suddenly empty of empathy and low on generosity — unless it can pull its own weight and pay the premiums.

If that life doesn’t eat enough fruits and vegetables because it lives in urban areas where such things are scarce and financially prohibitive, you ridicule its obesity and sickness as signs of cultural overindulgence and gluttony.

If that life is sexually assaulted you want to blame it for its promiscuity and immodesty, and wonder why it didn’t just keep its legs closed and why it can’t just move on and why it is so easily offended by “locker room banter.”

If that life is one day sent overseas to defend liberties here — separated from spouses, children, and parents and placed directly in harm’s way, you’re far more cavalier exposing its vulnerability and far less concerned about whether or not it is sacred.

If that life doesn’t reside in the continental U.S. or speak English and comes here fleeing oppression, poverty, and war you’ll never understand, you ask it to go back and “go through the proper channels”, instead of the barely sea-worthy makeshift raft or the stinking, stifling storage container it nearly died in trying to get here.

I wish you were pro-life, my friend — I really do.

I wish all human beings mattered as much to you as caucasian embryos do. I wish that once these diverse babies are thrust out into a violent, difficult, painful world; many enduring disadvantages, obstacles, and trials you will likely never experience — that you actually gave more of a damn about them.

I wish that once diverse babies are thrust out into a violent, difficult, painful world you actually gave more of a damn about them.

Because if you did, Life would be far bigger to you.

You would want to do more than prevent abortions.

You’d want to prevent hunger and poverty. You’d want to prevent illiteracy and child mortality and forced prostitution. You’d want to prevent racism and bigotry and homophobia. You’d want kids in the “bad neighborhood” to have great schools and teachers just like your kids have there in the “good neighborhood.” You’d want to support single parents and the terminally ill and the mentally ill by helping them carry their oversized burden.

You’d want religious freedom even for people who aren’t Christian. You’d want LGBTQ people to live and work and worship and love as they desire. You’d want people of color not to have to fear law enforcement and not to be disproportionately incarcerated. You’d want fewer guns in the hands of kids and criminals and those with mental illness. You’d want to prevent violence and workplace termination based on gender identity and sexual orientation. You’d want a living wage for all people who work hard, and healthcare for their children that won’t have to replace their daily meals.

I am a person of Life. That is what my faith calls me to be.

I don’t celebrate when a woman terminates a pregnancy (I honestly don’t know anyone who does), but my advocacy for life also goes well beyond the womb, and includes a far more diverse swath of Humanity than only those who look, speak, or worship the way I do. It includes immigrants and Muslims and Atheists and my enemies.

I wish we were partners in that wider affirmation of the living, because that would be cause of celebration and reason for hope and a visible sign of America’s greatness.

I wish we were partners in that wider affirmation of the living, because that would because of celebration and reason for hope and a visible sign of America’s greatness.

I am pro-all life because it is all sacred; not only when its heart begins beating, but as it beats and when it struggles to beat and up until it ceases to beat. I defend all life equally.

I celebrate it all fully. I protect it all passionately.

I really wish you did too.

Originally published on johnpavlovitz.com.

Friday, June 26, 2015

A Win for Equality

Today the Supreme Court announced their decision on same-sex marriage. This is something that we have been waiting to hear about for a while now. I am over joyed that they have ruled that same-sex marriage is now legal nationwide. Thomas and I were legally married back in October 2004 in Massachusetts. Then in June 2013 the Supreme Court struck down DOMA making our marriage legal through the federal government. Later that same year (December 2013) New Mexico legalized same-sex marriage which made our marriage now legal in the state where we live and in the United States. We were extremely happy when these happened but we also realized that other same sex couples in the U.S. still didn't have that right and if we decided to move to another state we may lose the legality of our marriage. But as of today we no longer have to worry. I can honestly say that when growing up I never imagined that some of the rights and benefits we have gained would have ever come to fruition in my lifetime. I have so much hope now that the citizens of this country can begin to open their hearts and minds to accept diversity in all of its forms. I am thankful for all the people who have fought for this new right and put themselves out there so that my voice could be heard and I am thankful to the five Supreme Court Justices that voted in favor of same-sex marriage. You can read the decision at Obergefell v. Hodges. Here is the last paragraph of the decision . . .
"No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization's oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law.
The Constitution grants them that right. The judgment of the Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit is reversed.
It is so ordered."

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

What Marriage Means

New Mexico Unites for Marriage is releasing this new ad to educate the public about what family and marriage mean to New Mexicans. I have to say this brought tears to my eyes. Thomas and I have been together for 24 years now and I am so thankful to have him in my life. It is wonderful to know that Thomas and I will be able to have a legal marriage in our lifetime. Thank you New Mexico.

Monday, December 23, 2013

A Pardon Finally comes

Back on June 23 of this year I posted a birthday note for Alan Turing. Alan was convicted of homosexuality in 1952 and in order to avoid prison he was chemically castrated. On June 7, 1954 Alan committed suicide by eating a cyanide laced apple (although this theory has been questioned) - he was only 41. Finally Queen Elizabeth II has pardoned Alan of this conviction. It is good to see things changing and the acceptance of a group of people who have no control over their sexuality. I am happy for Alan and I hope he is now truly at peace. Thank you England for showing humanity.


Thursday, December 19, 2013

#17

Today New Mexico became the 17th state to legalize same sex marriage.

For years now things have been changing slowly - some states chose hatred and approved constitutional amendments to ban gay marriage while other states chose to value human rights and allow gay marriage. New Mexico was pretty much in limbo. We didn't have the legal right to marry but a good thing was that we didn't have any bans on it either. But every year we tried to get gay marriage legalized in the legislature but it was either tabled or defeated. Now the New Mexico Supreme Court has finally done the right thing - they made a unanimous decision and declared that New Mexico is constitutionally required to allow same sex marriage. Here are a few links about this historic announcement.

Griego v. Oliver New Mexico Supreme Court Decision
Griego v. Oliver ACLU Announcement
New Mexico Supreme Court Rules Same-Sex Marriage Legal
New Mexico Supreme Court: Same-Sex Marriage Legal
New Mexico Supreme Court Rules Same-Sex Couples Can Marry in New Mexico

New Mexico now joins the following states in recognizing gay marriage . . .
Massachusetts
California
Connecticut
Iowa
Vermont
New Hampshire
New York
Washington
Maine
Maryland
Rhode Island
Delaware
Minnesota
New Jersey
Hawaii
Illinois
and
Washington, D.C.

Since Thomas and I were legally married in Massachusetts back in 2004 we now are considered legally married in New Mexico and for all federal rights afforded opposite sex couples. But I think we will go ahead and get married in New Mexico so we have a marriage license in our home state. I am really happy that things are changing and we now need to get marriage equality in all 50 states if this is truly the UNITED States of America.


Thursday, December 5, 2013

An Icon for Freedom is Gone

Nelson Mandela
July 18, 1918 - December 5, 2013

“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”  
― Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom

Friday, October 11, 2013

Nine Years Ago Today . . .

. . . Thomas and I were legally wed in Massachusetts. That makes nine years of marriage (only in Massachusetts), although I think with the recent Supreme Court decisions we are considered legally married in the United States but not in New Mexico. I think we are getting closer to being married in New Mexico since some county clerks have been issuing marriage licenses to same sex couples. I think either the Legislature or the New Mexico Supreme Court will make a decision for marriage equality within the next year. So we have been married for nine years but we have been together almost 24 years. That number amazes me - with the divorce rate among heterosexuals hovering around 50% it is a triumph that a homosexual couple can make a relationship last that long with all the negative societal pressures we have to endure. Someone at work once said I was lucky to have found the right person. I both agree and disagree. I don't think that making a relationship work is all about finding the right person. That is part of it, but I feel that it takes some work as well. There is compromise in different situations, acceptance of each others quirks and faults, talking through problems and figuring out solutions and most of all finding the best in each other and supporting that. Don't get me wrong, I do consider my self lucky to have Thomas in my life and I know that we have an incredible and very special relationship. I also know that both of us have worked hard to keep it going. On December 30, 2014 Thomas and I will celebrate our 25th anniversary. We have already begun talking about what we want to do to celebrate that auspicious occasion. It will probably be a trip to somewhere we have never been - places mentioned are Costa Rica, Hawaii or South America (Peru and the Galapagos Islands). Even though this isn't the anniversary we used to celebrate our relationship we still think it is special and we do acknowledge it. It is also special since October 11th is National Coming Out Day. I feel that by living our lives openly and freely it will make things easier for young gays to come out and believe in themselves and know they are not alone. Hopefully this country will eventually remove all discrimination and religious beliefs from the law when considering the rights of individuals. So anyway - Happy Anniversary to Thomas and I and Happy Coming Out Day to all the brave and wonderful gays that have accepted themselves and have talked to family and friends about who they really are.

Friday, June 28, 2013

My Thanks to the Men and Women of the Stonewall Riots


Forty-four years ago today a brave group of gay men and women stood up for their rights and fought back. What they didn't know at the time was what an impact their actions would make on millions of other gay people for years to come.
The Stonewall Inn - New York
As I am reading and writing about the events of the night of June 27 through the morning of June 28, 1969 my emotions are out of control. I cry for the hurt and abuse these people endured, I am overcome with pride that they put their lives on the line so that I could have a better life, I laugh at the ridiculousness of the raid that the police performed just to harass people minding their own business and I am sorry that I haven't done enough to further their cause. The reality of the freedoms I have as a gay man came on the backs of the heroes of 1969. On that fateful day I was only a month past the age of 8 years old.
Very Proud Indeed
I still had not realized that I was gay and I have no recollection of the events that took place. My family probably never even talked about it and if they did it was probably in French (Cajun French) so that we had no idea what they were discussing. It boggles my mind how these people faced the police and the risk of public harassment for their right to be who they were. Finding words to thank these people is hard for me - their actions have allowed me to be open about who I am and to be able to love a man that has been my partner and best friend for 23 years. Even though I am thankful for everything we have as a gay community I know we have a long way to go. That is why I live openly and I don't try to hide my homosexuality. It is also why I choose to make a gay related post throughout this month. These are small gestures but I hope they help and I hope I am honoring these people by not hiding in the closet. The most I can hope for is that these people would be proud that I am not hiding and I also hope that my small actions are making a difference. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you did so that I could have a better life.


Here are a few links relating to the Stonewall Riots . . .

The Stonewall Riots - 1969 — A Turning Point in the Struggle for Gay and Lesbian Liberation
Stonewall Riots of 1969
Stonewall Riots

Thursday, June 27, 2013

A New Hero for the LGBT Community


Born in 1929 in Philadelphia. Married and then divorced realizing she was a lesbian. Moved to New York and met Thea Spyer. They fell in love. In 2007 they wed in Toronto. Their relationship spanned 40+ years until Thea lost her fight with Multiple Sclerosis and heart issues. Edith then had to pay the IRS over $350,000.00 in inheritance taxes (something no heterosexual couple would have had to do). She decided to take on the U.S. Government. Yesterday her marriage to Thea was validated and the U.S. Government now owes her the money she paid them. She stood strong and proud demanding to be treated as equal as any other U.S. Citizen and because of her courage and persistence we all now can look forward to that equal treatment.


When I think about what this 84 year old woman has done for the gay community it brings tears to my eyes. Now that DOMA has been deemed unconstitutional I can only believe that all bans against same sex marriage will soon be a thing of the past. I am truly grateful for the fight that Ms. Windsor took on and I wish I could thank her personally. I feel we need to make her birthday a LGBT holiday - we should all remember what she has done long after she is gone.

“ Marriage ... symbolizes commitment and love like nothing else in the world. And it's known all over the world. I mean, wherever you go, if you're married, that means something to people and it meant a difference in feeling the next day."
~ Edith Windsor

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

DOMA Struck Down


 Just a few minutes ago the Supreme Court of the United States issued a decision on DOMA. In a 5-4 decision they struck DOMA down as unconstitutional. I am a little confused about the meaning of this. It seems that if you are legally married in a state that allows same sex marriage then you are guaranteed all the federal rights and benefits of all legally married couples. What is confusing is that if you were married in a state that allows same sex marriage and move or live in a state that doesn't recognize that marriage would you still get the benefits? Thomas and I were legally married on October 11, 2004 in Provincetown, MA but we live in New Mexico and our state doesn't recognize or deny the marriage - would we be able to receive all the federal benefits? I hope so! This is a great move by the Court. Fortunately, this is continuing our move for equal rights nationwide. Since the mood of the Nation is changing on the approval of gay marriage I figure it won't be long that this won't be an issue anymore. The courts also dismissed the case of Prop 8. Meaning that the State of California cannot legally enforce it. Here is the Prop 8 decision. So hopefully in a month or two California will become the 13th State to allow same sex marriage.


Tuesday, June 11, 2013

The National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights - 1979

Souvenir Program Cover
On October 14, 1979 the first gay and lesbian march on Washington took place. This march was inspired by Harvey Milk. It was something he had talked and dreamed about - unfortunately he was killed the year before. I had graduated high school that year and was in my first semester of college. I don't remember anything about this march and that upsets me. Being closeted I really didn't think about gay rights and I didn't pay attention to any of the news articles. When I think about how scared I was that someone would find out about me I am in awe of how these people put themselves out there so that one day I wouldn't have to worry about being gay.

"Rights are not won on paper. They are won only by those who make their voices heard."
~Harvey Milk~

The march attracted about 100,000 people from all over the country. Originally there were concerns about backlash and also about whether enough people would show up. These concerns were unwarranted as many people made the trip. People marched for their rights and wanted to bring their concerns to the govenment. They made a pretty good impact. There was a souvenir program outlining the speakers and events. There was also a recording made of the speeches. We should all be thankful to these people for helping to advance our cause. Yes, we have made progress but we still aren't where we need to be and to honor those that came before us we need to continue the fight. I know in my heart that we are on the right track and there will be monumental changes in the very near future.

October 14, 1979

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

The Color of Love

Today the United States Supreme Court began hearings on Prop 8 and DOMA. The next two days will determine if this is really a country built on equality. With the alarming divorce rate it is disgusting when marriage equality is used to defile the sanctity of marriage. The fight for marriage equality isn't one of religion, it is purely one of civil rights. Marriage equality will not take away anyone's religious rights - they can still marry people of the opposite sex, no one will force them to marry someone of the same sex. And further more my same sex marriage will have absolutely no impact on anyone else's marriage. I am hoping for some positive changes from the Supreme Court so that my 23 year relationship will be recognized by my country. You can follow along as the Supreme Court hears testimony at Equality on Trial. Today the Human Rights Campaign posted a red logo (the color of love) on their facebook page and since that posting it has gone viral and since I don't do facebook I am posting it here.

HRC Red Logo

Saturday, June 25, 2011

New York Passes Same Sex Marriage

I have been keeping up with the fight for marriage equaility in New York by watching videos from "New Yorkers for Marriage Equality" campaign. I have also read a lot of articles and watched as some of the Republican Senators came to the realization that everyone deserves the same rights. The vote last night was an incredible victory not only for New York but I think for the gay community as a whole. New York is now the sixth state to allow gay marriage and it is also the largest state to allow gay marriage. With this victory the number of same sex couples wih the right to marry will double. I was impressed with the number of celebrities and high profile people who came to the support of the New York Gay and Lesbian Community and with Governor Cuomo for his ardent support. So New York now joins Massachusetts, Connecticut, Vermont, New Hampshire, Iowa and the District of Columbia with legalized same sex marriage. It is a happy day!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

One More Victory

It looks like the Gay and Lesbian community has won yet another victory. Yesterday U.S. district judge Virginia A. Phillips ruled that the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy is unconstitutional. Hopefully this isn't an early celebration because the Justice Department has until September 23 to submit objections. This decision means that all gay and lesbian soldiers will be able to openly talk about their significant others and will not have to hide their relationships. That is something that straight military personnel take for granted. This decision partnered with the repeal of Prop 8 in California brings great big steps in the approach to full gay and lesbian rights. Again, people are claiming this is a moral issue. It is funny to me how they are quick to classify homosexuality as amoral but they go around having sex out of wedlock and cussing and generally having no concern for any moral values except when it comes to homosexuality. As an example, my nephew makes post on his facebook page using the word God and quite a few curse words in the same sentence. It is appalling to me that they are willing to deny rights to people by standing behind God. I know there will be lots of struggles for gays and lesbians in the military even with DADT repealed because people are just ignorant. I heard on a radio talk show that the Marine Corp is already talking about separate barracks (does this segregation sound familiar - 'hey you gays get to the back of the bus'). It is funny how a group of men can share barracks as long as some don't know that others are gay but when they know all of a sudden that there are gay men there they think they are going to be attacked or something - it is just irrational. But I digress, the important point here is that there are other people out there who are working on equaling the rights of gays and lesbian. As I read about this decision I came across the photos below.
These photos are by Jeff Sheng and are part of his "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Series. Here is his take on the photos . . .

The photographer elaborates, “Ultimately for me, these photographs underscore the silence permeating the unsung heroism of gay and lesbian military personnel. The photos are about the men and women who continue to fight and serve despite the heartbreaking invisibility they suffer.”

Here are some links related to this decision by the courts.
DADT Defeated: Serve with Pride
Judge Rules DADT Unconstitutional
Log Cabin Republicans v. United States of America
'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' Unconstitutional, Federal Judge Rules
Photographer Jeff Sheng: Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Thursday, August 5, 2010

One Step Closer

Yesterday was an incredible victory in the pursuit of equal rights for all Americans. Chief U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker issued his 136 page opinion which strikes down California's ban on same-sex marriage. He stated that Proposition 8, which defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman, violates gay couples' rights to equal protection and due process, as protected by the U.S. Constitution. Kudos to Judge Vaughn. I would also like to thank Kristin Perry & Sandy Stier along with Jeffrey Zarrillo & Paul Katami. These two couples are the ones that brought this case to court. I respect their courage and appreciate what they have done to bring equal rights to all. I do realize that the fight is not over and that the opponents of same-sex marriage have probably already started working on an appeal. Even so, this victory has inspired a lot of people and I hope that these opponents realize that they can't dictate their personal beliefs on everyone. Live your life the way you want to live it. If you don't believe in same-sex marriage then don't marry someone of the same sex, but please don't tell me who I can marry. Thomas and I were married a little over five years ago in Massachusetts. Maybe one day soon that marriage will be legal in the whole UNITED States. It seems funny to use the word united when each state seperately decides who can legally marry - seems very divided. It also seems funny to use the word united when it is clear that we are divided in who should have rights and who shouldn't. Our very own Constitution guarantees in the Declaration of Independence that all people will have the same rights.
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."
What really bothers me is that the same people trying to control who can marry and who can't are the same people complaining that the Government has too much control over their lives and that the Government isn't upholding the Constitution. But on the other hand they are trying to get the Government to control my life. They don't believe in the Constitution unless it actually benefits them - they are trying to take away my unalienable Rights of Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. I do understand that they have their religious beliefs and that is fine. What isn't fine is them forcing that belief on me. I don't want or need their Church or their God to approve of my marriage. And if they don't believe in same-sex marriage then by all means it is their right not to marry someone of the same sex, but they don't have the right to make me accept their beliefs. I only want what the Constitution grants me. I work hard, pay my taxes and contribute to society just like most Americans - and I want (no, I DEMAND) all the same rights that they have. I demand the same legal benefits and protections that marriage brings to other Americans. Proposition 8 united the Gay and Lesbian community and soon after it was passed a NOH8 Campaign was born. That campaign grew over the last two years and I think made a big difference in this fight for equality. Today I have more confidence that my relationship and marriage will garner more respect in this country and that one day I will have all the rights that Americans are guaranteed.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Another Hero

This afternoon I was reading a few blogs that I follow and came across a post with a video at Idle Eyes and a Dormy. The video is of a speech by Senator Diane Savino, a New York State Senator. She gave a very moving speech in favor of Gay Marriage. Although the bill was defeated I am very thankful to Senator Savino. I am proud to have someone like her on our side and with people like her working along side the Gay Community I know that we will get the Rights that we deserve. I was so moved by her speech that I sent her an email thanking her for the support. Please check out Senator Savino's speech - I think you will be impressed. And please pass it along to anyone you know. We can always use more help in getting the truth about Gay Marriage out to as many people as we can. Thanks for listening.

Monday, November 16, 2009

An Unlikely Hero

It seems the Christians could learn something about compassion, love and most of all discrimination from a 10 year old boy. This 10 year old boy lives in Arkansas and has decided to not stand and say the Pledge of Allegiance until Gays and Lesbians have the right to marry. He stated in an interview with CNN that the reason he decided this was because of the last few words of the Pledge - "with liberty and justice for all". He feels that if Gays and Lesbians aren't allowed to marry then how can we believe in the Pledge. I think this insight from a 1o year old is amazing and yet supposedly mature adults have these incredibly closed minds. I wish I had the strength and courage of this young man. Don't get me wrong I don't hide in a closet but I am not out there fighting for this right. My family and friends know I am gay and most of the people at work know I am gay but now that doesn't seem to be enough. I am not sure what I am going to do about it but it seems like I need to take action. I will never be able to thank this young man (by the way his name is Will Phillips) for his support of my rights.

I guess I never really thought about the Pledge and I am glad that this came up. When you think about the entire country for years has been saying that every American should get justice. This is the exact point that people who support Gay Marriage are trying to get across. We want the same rights that all Americans want and we want the right to get married. Now this part is for the Christians - we don't want your blessing or the support of the Church. We want our legal right to marry so that the families we have built are protected by the government that we contribute to. Thank you Will Phillips - you are my new hero.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

You Can't Repeal Love

In May of this year the Maine legislature passed a bill to allow same sex couples to wed and the Governor signed that bill into law. Yesterday the residents of Maine voted to repeal that law. This makes Maine the 31st state to oppose gay marriage by popular vote. Currently there are five states in the Union that allow gay marriage - Massachussetts, Vermont, Connecticut, New Hampshire and Iowa. So are we to assume that because 31 states don't want gay marriage and only five approve of it that it is wrong. To me all I get out of it is hate and discrimination. One of the main reasons that opponents of gay marriage give is that it is morally wrong, that the bible condemns homosexuality.

Now, I am not an expert on the bible but I do know that most people who use the bible only use it when it suits them. What I do know is the basics of how you treat people and I know the ten commandments and the golden rule. I feel that if you live by the ten commandments and you do unto others then you are doing pretty good - especially since we know that all humans are infallible - even though most of the religious right seem to think they are perfect and can dictate their beliefs on everyone else. I am not just being emotional and I am not making generalizations. I am speaking from experience.

I have been in a committed relationship for 20 years now but to the moral majority (and I use this term with tongue in cheek - because most of them are no more moral than I am and they are certainly not the majority - they just act like it) that doesn't mean anything. The reason I bring this up is I am trying to prove a point, actually several. First, most religious organizations can't even get along with themselves. Look back in history and you can see consistently how factions of one religion broke off because they had different beliefs - they couldn't even work out their differences - couldn't they have prayed together to solve their problems (I mean really - I can't tell you how many times that people have told me they will pray for me). On a more recent and personal experience one of Thomas' brother left his church. He and about half the congregation decided they couldn't get along with the rest of the church so they left. He even worked for them and quit his job over it without having another job to go to. Now should I trust this guy to make a decision about whether or not I should be allowed to marry the man I love. Second, most religions agree that sex before marriage is morally wrong and living together before marriage is also wrong. My dad recently got remarried. He had been living with his current wife for about 10 years before they actually got married. Why did they wait so long? The woman he married was divorced and she was waiting to get an annulment from the church so they could get married in the church and they did. So the matter of them living together was overlooked by the church. So it seems if you pay the church to erase your first marriage then you can remarry in the church and all is good in the world. Don't you think God still knows what you did and just getting a human to erase it on paper makes it okay in the eyes of God. Third, let's talk about honoring your mother and father. Thomas has four brothers and none of them do anything to help out with taking care of his dad and they weren't very much help when his mom was sick as well. I remember Thomas' mom crying and disappointed because one of his brothers had to do things with the church so he cancelled coming for Thanksgiving dinner. So the two gay guys take the responsibility of taking care of the parents but are not allowed to get married. I write these things so that the flaws of the religious are shown and so that maybe people can see that their thinking and justification of opposing same sex marriage is just that - flawed.

There is a rumor out there that quite a few people believe that homosexuals have a choice in their sexual orientation and that they can choose not to be homosexuals. Really! So I guess one morning I woke up and decided I was going to be attracted to men. For what reason - so I could be taunted and teased, so that I could be beaten up in the locker room in high school, so I could be condemned to hell, so I could be denied the right to see my partner if he is in the hospital, so I could be denied the right to marry the man I love and get all the same rights and privileges associated with that union. So I pose to you heterosexuals who see homosexuality as a choice - did you choose to be heterosexual? So, if you did couldn't you just as easily choose to be homosexual? I thought not. Please use reason with this, I am gay because I am gay - that's it - there is no mystery and I don't need anyone to find a 'gay gene' to prove why or why not someone is gay. It wasn't the way I was raised, it wasn't the way I was treated, I wasn't recruited and I certainly wasn't brainwashed - I was born this way - I am a child of your God and I know he loves me as I am even if you don't. And I know in my heart I don't have to be heterosexual to be loved by God.

All this fighting to deny rights to other humans is just crazy and the reasons are even crazier - like the one that if they allow gays to marry each other then the next thing that will happen is that people will want to marry their dogs. That is really insulting - I am now nothing more than a dog - just because I am gay I am no longer human. If the opponents of gay marriage really believe this then I feel that their IQ is severely compromised and how can people take them seriously.

There are so many other crazy reasons that they are using and you can read all of them at Gay Marriage: The Arguments and the Motives. I am not a proponent of outing gay people - I feel that each individual has the right to live their life as they see fit. But I am encouraging, pleading and even begging any gay individual that hasn't talked to their family and friends about it to dig deep within themselves and come out. As we talk to family, friends, coworkers and anyone else we are close to people will be more comfortable with homosexuality and I know in my heart that one day we will have all the rights that we are suppose to have. And to the people who are using religion to fight gay marriage I say to you - I don't want or need your blessing or the blessing of the church but I do expect the legal recognition from the government that I pay taxes to and for whom I vote. Fortunately this is only a setback not an end. Gays will not go away because of this. We have been around since the beginning and we will be here until the end and we will eventually get the right to marry legally with all the benefits.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Last Day of Gay Pride Month

Today is the last day of gay pride. I have decided to put all the things that I had on the blog into this one post - there is the picture from Kelly's blog (Rambling Along in Life), the quotes from That's So Gay and a few other things I had posted. It was a good month with lots of celebrations all over the world and some very positive and powerful messages. I enjoyed reading other blogs as people celebrated Gay Pride. Here's hoping that next year will bring more for us to celebrate.


We have come a long way,
but still have a long way to go.
Thanks to all those who have paved the way,
Some even gave their lives...
Keep their fight alive...
We won't forget!!


These quotes are taken from That's So Gay
"Soldiers who are not afraid of guns, bombs, capture, torture or death say they are afraid of homosexuals. Clearly we should not be used as soldiers; we should be used as weapons". ~Letter to the editor, The Advocate

"More people have been slaughtered in the name of religion than for any other single reason. That, my friends, that is true perversion."
~ Harvey Milk

"The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision".
~Lynn Lavner

"Maybe what a gay icon is, is a person who is rooted for – in other words, cheered on by people who feel different"
~ Liza Minelli

"Family need not be defined merely as those with whom you share blood but for those for whom you would give your blood"
~ Nathan Lane

"Love is the big booming beat which covers up the noise of hate"
~ Margaret Cho

"I believe that we, the lgbt community, need to continue to dialogue among ourselves about the issues and concerns that effect us. We are often banded together so often against a common foe, we forget to take the time to talk to each other about our lives and feelings as gay people. We are not all the same, we do not all have the same goals and desires and we do not always agree on everything just because we all share a common sexuality or struggle"
~ Sean Breen

"There's no life without humour. It can make the wonderful moments of life truly glorious, and it can make tragic moments bearable"
~ Rufus Wainwright

"The idea that your parents influence your sexual orientationis ridiculous. Because if it were true, I'd have my mother's taste in men, and i've never dated a guy who falls asleep in his chair during Jeopardy"
~ Bob Smith

"We all came into this world naked. The rest is all drag"
~ RuPaul

"Parents have to understand: if your kid isn't you, don't blame the kid"
~ Chastity Bono

"Tolerance and acceptance are not enough for me-it's celebration I'm aiming for"
~ Kevyn Aucoin

"Sexually progressive cultures gave us mathematics, literature, philosophy, civilization and the rest, while sexually restrictive cultures gave us the Dark Ages and the Holocaust"
~Alan Moore

"On the surface, civil unions are a politically safe middle ground, an attempt to highlight the artificial divide between secular unions and the religious rite of marriage. But the fact is that marriage is a civil institution just as much as it is a religious one, and therefore religious objections to same-sex marriage shouldn't be an obstacle. We allow atheists to marry and we do not refer to a wedding performed by a secular judge or justice of the peace as a 'civil union'."
~ William Jelani Cobb

"...there was something reassuring about watching my best friends joking around. It was what we did, how we engaged with each other. Silly but witty chit-chat about inane things. It's funny how meaningful inane things can be- comforting, easy things like family. And they were my family."
~ Tommy's Tale (Alan Cumming)

"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination"
~ Oscar Wilde

"For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook"
~ Quentin Crisp

"I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that's where us gay people come from...you heterosexuals."
~ Ellen DeGeneres

"I surrendered my youth to the people I feared when I could have been out there loving someone. Don't make that mistake yourself. Life's too damn short"
~Armistead Maupin

"No government has the right to tell its citizens when or whom to love. the only queer people are those who don't love anybody"
~ Rita Mae Brown

"They are preserving the sanctity of marriage, so that two gay men who've been together for twenty-five years can't get married, but a guy can still get drunk in Vegas and marry a hooker at the Elvis chapel! The sanctity of marriage is saved!"
~ Lea DeLaria

"I have come to fully understand that tolerance is only a fraction better than intolerance but a world away from acceptance"
~ CawfeeMate




I'm Proud!


You can read my other posts related to Gay Pride by clicking on the picture below.


Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Prayers For Bobby

Last night I watched the movie Prayers For Bobby. It was a Lifetime movie and as you can probably guess it was pretty sentimental. I related a lot to the movie, not so much with my parents but with just the general attitude of people about gays and lesbians and I definitely related to Bobby and his feelings. One part of the movie really got to me - that was when Mary made a speech to the Walnut City Council. Below is a video of the speech from the movie and the transcript.

" 'Homosexuality is a sin. Homosexuals are doomed to spend eternity in hell. If they wanted to change, they could be healed of their evil ways. If they would turn away from temptation, they could be normal again. If only they would try and try harder if it doesn't work. '

These are all of the things I said to my son Bobby when I found out he was gay. When he told me he was homosexual, my world fell apart. I did everything I could to cure him of his sickness.

Eight months ago, my son jumped off a bridge and killed himself. I deeply regret my lack of knowledge of gay and lesbian people. I see that everything that I was taught and told was bigotry and dehumanizing slander. If I had investigated beyond what I was told, if I had just listened to my son when he poured his heart out to me, I would not be standing here today with you filled with regret.

I believe that God was pleased with Bobby's kind and loving spirit. In God's eyes, kindness and love is what's it's all about. I didn't know that each time that I echoed eternal damnation for gay people, each time I referred to Bobby as sick and perverted and a danger to our children, his self-esteem and his sense of worth were being destroyed. Finally, his spirit broke beyond repair.

It was not God's will that Bobby climbed over the side of a freeway overpass and jumped directly into the path of an 18 wheel truck which killed him instantly. Bobby's death was the direct result of his parents ignorance and fear of the word gay.

He wanted to be a writer. His hopes and dreams should not have been taken from him but they were. There are children like Bobby sitting in your congregations.

Unknown to you, they will be listening as you echo 'Amen' and that will soon silence their prayers. Their prayers to God for understanding and acceptance and for your love. But your hatred and fear and ignorance of the word 'gay' will silence those prayers.

So, before you echo 'Amen' in your home and place of worship, think. Think and remember that a child is listening."

Mary Griffiths