These five teens all recently committed suicide after being bullied and teased because they were gay. Even with these five lives being lost not much is being done about the hate that caused these tragedies. Name calling and bullying someone who is gay seems to be an acceptable past time without much of any consequence. If someone chose to belittle women, or use the "N" word or make a derogatory remark about someone Hispanic or Oriental they would have to answer for that. But the ones that are constantly using the word Faggot defend themselves by saying they are just expressing their First Amendment Rights of free speech. Well, isn't that exactly what every bigot is doing when they defame members of the opposite sex or any of the minorities in our world. This simply can't be tolerated.
It Gets Better!
As a teenager I was constantly picked on and teased. More than once I was beaten up in the locker room at school while the guys called my faggot and queer. There were days I didn't want to go to school because I was simply tired of all the harassment. But somehow I survived. I am sure that the idea of suicide crossed my mind but either I was too scared to really consider it or I just didn't know how to do it. Please know that I never came out to anyone at this point in my life - the harassment was all because people assumed I was gay. Obviously they were right but at the time it wasn't something that they knew for sure.
It Gets Better!
After high school I attended a local college. The harassment got better but there were still innuendos and comments. Even within my own family. I remember my father making derogatory remarks about people on TV. So I kept my secret and tried to live the way that society told me I was suppose to. There were times I felt scared and alone thinking that no one understood what I was going through. And still I survived. I eventually dropped out of college and just worked - I had an apartment and friends and life was okay but not great. I knew deep down inside I wasn't being me.
It Gets Better!
Eventually I decided I wanted to go back to college but I didn't want to stay at home. I chose to move away thinking that if I were among strangers it would be easier to be myself. That wasn't the case. I still felt I had to hide. So even though I did date some men I didn't come out to any of my friends and family. Things still didn't feel right - I wasn't being me. But I was still scared and kept it all in. Luckily the harassment at this time was pretty much next to nothing. My reason for not coming out was I felt that my friends and family would all abandon me. It never crossed my mind that they may accept me for who I am or that I could find and make friends who were just like me or who would accept me.
It Gets Better!
Just before graduation I met a man. A man I had an instant connection with. If I didn't believe in 'Love at First Site' before I did believe in it when I met this man. This man - Thomas - has now been my partner for almost 21 years. I knew when I met him that I had to let all my fears go and take this chance. This meant that I would need to tell all my friends and family in order to live an open life with the person I fell in love with. My fears as they say were unwarranted. Most of my friends and family said they already knew and that it didn't matter. Others were upset because I felt I couldn't confide in them - they were my friends after all and my sexual orientation wasn't a factor in our friendship. Now I don't want to paint a totally perfect picture because there are some negatives (but those were few and I realized that those people were never really my friend). And lets be honest - Life isn't all perfect for anyone. It's all good and bad but you have to be who you are and accept the good with the bad.
It Gets Better!
I write this in the hope that a gay teen somewhere will read it and know that being gay is okay and even though you may get teased and harassed it does get better. I want them to know that they are important and their sexual orientation is part of who they are and it doesn't mean they are any less a person if they are gay.
Thanks to Dan Savage for starting the It Gets Better Project!
Also check out The Trevor Project!
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