Goodbye, Mork!

Robin Williams

July 21, 1951 - August 11, 2014

 I was shocked and saddened when I heard today that Robin Williams was dead. He is one of my all time favorite actors. A few of the shows and movies of his that I love are . . .

Mork & Mindy

Aladdin

Mrs. Doubtfire

Hook

Dead Poets Society

Jumanji

The Birdcage

Robots

He always made me laugh. It is sad that a man that brought such joy to tons of people succumbed to depression. I love what President Obama had to say about Mr. Williams . . .

"Robin Williams was an airman, a doctor, a genie, a nanny, a president, a professor, a bangarang Peter Pan, and everything in between. But he was one of a kind. He arrived in our lives as an alien -- but he ended up touching every element of the human spirit. He made us laugh. He made us cry. He gave his immeasurable talent freely and generously to those who needed it most -- from our troops stationed abroad to the marginalized on our own streets."

Robin, thanks for all the laughs! You will be missed.

My Thanks to the Men and Women of the Stonewall Riots

Forty-four years ago today a brave group of gay men and women stood up for their rights and fought back. What they didn't know at the time was what an impact their actions would make on millions of other gay people for years to come.

The Stonewall Inn - New York

As I am reading and writing about the events of the night of June 27 through the morning of June 28, 1969 my emotions are out of control. I cry for the hurt and abuse these people endured, I am overcome with pride that they put their lives on the line so that I could have a better life, I laugh at the ridiculousness of the raid that the police performed just to harass people minding their own business and I am sorry that I haven't done enough to further their cause. The reality of the freedoms I have as a gay man came on the backs of the heroes of 1969. On that fateful day I was only a month past the age of 8 years old.

Very Proud Indeed

I still had not realized that I was gay and I have no recollection of the events that took place. My family probably never even talked about it and if they did it was probably in French (Cajun French) so that we had no idea what they were discussing. It boggles my mind how these people faced the police and the risk of public harassment for their right to be who they were. Finding words to thank these people is hard for me - their actions have allowed me to be open about who I am and to be able to love a man that has been my partner and best friend for 23 years. Even though I am thankful for everything we have as a gay community I know we have a long way to go. That is why I live openly and I don't try to hide my homosexuality. It is also why I choose to make a gay related post throughout this month. These are small gestures but I hope they help and I hope I am honoring these people by not hiding in the closet. The most I can hope for is that these people would be proud that I am not hiding and I also hope that my small actions are making a difference. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you did so that I could have a better life.

Here are a few links relating to the Stonewall Riots . . .

The Stonewall Riots - 1969 — A Turning Point in the Struggle for Gay and Lesbian Liberation
Stonewall Riots of 1969
Stonewall Riots

The Upstairs Lounge Remembered

On the eve of June 24, 1973 the Upstairs Lounge in New Orleans was firebombed. The resultant blaze killed 32 people. Today is the 40th anniversary of this cruel tragedy. The bar had been used as a temporary meeting place for the Metropolitan Community Church. There had been a get together for free beer and an all you can eat dinner. Afterwards some of the congregation of the MCC stayed. There was a buzz at the door and when it was opened flames engulfed the place. Someone had set fire to the wooden stairs that lead up to the door. As if the action itself wasn't bad enough there were jokes made about the victims and churches in the area refused to let the families have memorial services. This all came about only four years after the Stonewall Riots showing that change would be slow to come.

In Memory . . . here is a list of the victims of the Upstairs Lounge fire.

~ Partners Joe William Bailey & Clarence Josephy McCloskey, Jr. perished together. McCloskey's sisters and two nieces attended the Memorial Service. His niece, Susan, represented McCloskey in the Jazz Funeral.
~ Duane George "Mitch" Mitchell, assistant MCC pastor. He had escaped through the emergency exit with a group led by bartender Douglas "Buddy" Rasmussen, but ran back into the burning building trying to save his partner, Louis Horace Broussard. Their bodies were discovered lying together.
~ Mrs. Willie Inez Warren of Pensacola later died from burns suffered in the fire. Her two sons died inside the bar, Eddie Hosea Warren and James Curtis Warren.
~ Pastor of the MCC, Rev. William R. Larson, formerly a Methodist lay minister.
~ Dr. Perry Lane Waters, Jr., a Jefferson Parish dentist. Several victims were his patients and were identified by his x-rays.
~ Douglas Maxwell Williams
~ Leon Richard Maples, a visitor from Florida.
~ George Steven Matyi
~ Larry Stratton
~ Reginald Adams, Jr., MCC member, formerly a Jesuit Scholastic. Partner of entertainer Regina Adams.
~ James Walls Hambrick, who had jumped from the building in flames, died later that week.
~ Horace "Skip" Getchell, MCC member.
~ Joseph Henry Adams
~ Herbert Dean Cooley, UpStairs Lounge bartender and MCC member.
~  Professional pianist, David Stuart Gary.
~ Guy D. Anderson
~ Luther Boggs, teacher, who died two weeks later. Notified while hospitalized with terrible burns that he had been fired from his job.
~ Donald Walter Dunbar
~ Professional linguist, Adam Roland Fontenot, survived by his partner, bartender Douglas "Buddy" Rasmussen, who led a group to safety.
~ John Thomas Golding, Sr., member of MCC Pastor's Advisory Group.
~ Gerald Hoyt Gordon
~ Kenneth Paul Harrington, Federal Government employee.
~ Glenn Richard "Dick" Green, Navy veteran.
~ Robert "Bob" Lumpkin
~ Four men were buried in Potter's Field: Ferris LeBlanc (later indentified), and three persons only identified as Unknown White Males. The city refused to release these bodies to the MCC for burial.

Happy Birthday, Alan Turing

Today would have been Alan's 101st birthday. Sadly Alan only lived until he was 41. His life came to an end on June 7, 1954 when the young Alan committed suicide by cyanide poisoning. Alan was a brilliant mathematician and founder of computer science. He was also a gay man. A gay man treated very badly by society. In 1952 Alan was arrested for homosexuality. In order to avoid going to prison he accepted injections of oestrogen. This "treatment" was used to reduce a person's libido and is essentially chemical castration. Following his arrest he lost his security clearance and his job. There have been petitions introduced to get Turing pardoned but the British government has not done so yet. In 2009, Prime Minister Gordon Brown issued an apology but that is as far as it has gotten.

Alan Turing (1912 - 1954)

Here are some links related to Alan Turing.

The Alan Turing Home Page
BBC History - Alan Turing
Alan Turing Biography: Computer Pioneer, Gay Icon
Stephen Hawking Calls for Alan Turing's Pardon

Elizabeth Rosemond "Liz" Taylor

February 27, 1932 – March 23, 2011

It Gets Better!

Tyler Clementi 18

Seth Walsh 13
Asher Brown 13
Billy Lucas 15
Raymond Chase 19

These five teens all recently committed suicide after being bullied and teased because they were gay. Even with these five lives being lost not much is being done about the hate that caused these tragedies. Name calling and bullying someone who is gay seems to be an acceptable past time without much of any consequence. If someone chose to belittle women, or use the "N" word or make a derogatory remark about someone Hispanic or Oriental they would have to answer for that. But the ones that are constantly using the word Faggot defend themselves by saying they are just expressing their First Amendment Rights of free speech. Well, isn't that exactly what every bigot is doing when they defame members of the opposite sex or any of the minorities in our world. This simply can't be tolerated.

It Gets Better!

As a teenager I was constantly picked on and teased. More than once I was beaten up in the locker room at school while the guys called my faggot and queer. There were days I didn't want to go to school because I was simply tired of all the harassment. But somehow I survived. I am sure that the idea of suicide crossed my mind but either I was too scared to really consider it or I just didn't know how to do it. Please know that I never came out to anyone at this point in my life - the harassment was all because people assumed I was gay. Obviously they were right but at the time it wasn't something that they knew for sure.

It Gets Better!

After high school I attended a local college. The harassment got better but there were still innuendos and comments. Even within my own family. I remember my father making derogatory remarks about people on TV. So I kept my secret and tried to live the way that society told me I was suppose to. There were times I felt scared and alone thinking that no one understood what I was going through. And still I survived. I eventually dropped out of college and just worked - I had an apartment and friends and life was okay but not great. I knew deep down inside I wasn't being me.

It Gets Better!

Eventually I decided I wanted to go back to college but I didn't want to stay at home. I chose to move away thinking that if I were among strangers it would be easier to be myself. That wasn't the case. I still felt I had to hide. So even though I did date some men I didn't come out to any of my friends and family. Things still didn't feel right - I wasn't being me. But I was still scared and kept it all in. Luckily the harassment at this time was pretty much next to nothing. My reason for not coming out was I felt that my friends and family would all abandon me. It never crossed my mind that they may accept me for who I am or that I could find and make friends who were just like me or who would accept me.

It Gets Better!

Just before graduation I met a man. A man I had an instant connection with. If I didn't believe in 'Love at First Site' before I did believe in it when I met this man. This man - Thomas - has now been my partner for almost 21 years. I knew when I met him that I had to let all my fears go and take this chance. This meant that I would need to tell all my friends and family in order to live an open life with the person I fell in love with. My fears as they say were unwarranted. Most of my friends and family said they already knew and that it didn't matter. Others were upset because I felt I couldn't confide in them - they were my friends after all and my sexual orientation wasn't a factor in our friendship. Now I don't want to paint a totally perfect picture because there are some negatives (but those were few and I realized that those people were never really my friend). And lets be honest - Life isn't all perfect for anyone. It's all good and bad but you have to be who you are and accept the good with the bad.

It Gets Better!

I write this in the hope that a gay teen somewhere will read it and know that being gay is okay and even though you may get teased and harassed it does get better. I want them to know that they are important and their sexual orientation is part of who they are and it doesn't mean they are any less a person if they are gay.

Thanks to Dan Savage for starting the It Gets Better Project!
Also check out The Trevor Project!

Life . . . and Death

Tonight at around 11:00pm Thomas' cousin, Ruth passed away following a short battle with cancer. She called us a few weeks before Christmas to let us know she had ovarian cancer and would have to have surgery. She had that surgery on December 23. At that time they found that the cancer had metastasized to her liver. She underwent some treatments but they were too much for her, she wasn't eating much and started losing weight. Ruth and her husband, Chris made a decision to stop the treatments. A decision that Ruth's family had strong opinions about and they let Ruth know that they didn't agree with her decision. We visited Ruth quite a few times since Christmas and slowly watched her decline. It was amazing how fast she faded. This past Saturday it was obvious that she didn't have much time left. She had lost more weight and she was jaundiced. She wasn't talking much and she would drift out for short bits of time. The last two days she has been pretty uncomfortable and Chris was medicating her to keep her pain down which sedated her and we weren't able to really visit with her. Well, she is no longer suffering and I know Chris is going to have some rough days ahead. They have been married for about 30 years so I know he will miss her.

I have worked in the medical field for over 25 years and I have experienced lots of sad situations. My feelings are that there are worse things than death. Life and death are totally intertwined and it is inevitable that we will all die. No matter how hard we try, no matter what medical interventions are tried at some point our lives will end. I have found that the person dying isn't the one that isn't accepting it - it is usually the people left behind. I also have found that a lot of the religious people I know have a harder time with death. This confuses me - if you have such faith wouldn't accepting death as part of life be comforting. It really makes me sad when a family has difficulty accepting someone's decision to stop trying to fight the inevitable and just let go. They have so much on their minds and then family intervenes and puts pressure on them and ends up making the last days more difficult.

Of course I am sad tonight and I will certainly miss Ruth but that is something I must deal with. I know with all my heart she is in a much better place than she was in the last few months. But I have lots of memories that make me smile and I respect her for the decisions she made. Goodbye Ruth, you will be missed and please keep a watchful eye over us.

Ruth Jimenez
March 3, 1959 - April 20, 2010

Remembering A Friend

Today is an anniversary. The memories associated with this anniversary are both good and bad. One year ago today we had to let our wonderful bulldog Boudreaux go. He had been getting weaker and he also had a very large tumor on one of his legs that really made it difficult for him to walk. I have so many good memories of Boudreaux. He was a very loving dog and loyal to no end. He had a very sweet disposition and would constantly follow me around the house. During the day when we were at work or running errands he would stay in the house and greet us warmly when we returned. When we traveled to Lousisana to see my family for Christmas he would accompany us on those trips. He really traveled well and loved being in the car. He also loved attention - he always wanted to be petted but his favorite thing was to be rubbed on his belly. I really miss him and the house has had an emptiness that I don't think will ever be filled. On that day one year ago my heart was broken and it was one of the saddest days of my life, of course with time I am feeling better and I know we did the right thing by Boudreaux. My memories of his twelve years with us are still vivid and I treasure each and every one of them. So here's to Boudreaux - I love you and miss you my friend.

Goodbye, Eartha!

Eartha Mae Kitt
January 17, 1927 – December 25, 2008

Good-night, sweet prince . . .

. . . And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.

Horatio, act v, scene ii

Boudreaux
November 5, 1996
November 3, 2008

For over a week now Thomas and I have been dealing with some health issues with Boudreaux. He had several visits to the vet and he even stayed a couple of nights. He had a large growth on his right front leg that the vet called a nerve sheath tumor. They checked him for other tumors and didn't find any. So we were given the options to deal with the tumor and we gave them a lot of thought. Not only did we weigh our options we looked at Boudreaux's overall quality of life. For a little over a year now we have been noticing quite a few changes with him. His eyesight and hearing had deteriorated considerably, he had no ligaments in his hind legs and he was also becoming incontinent. With all these problems it was hard for us to make a decision with the options given us by the vet. Here were our options: 1) surgery to remove the tumor [with the understanding that there were considerable nerves and blood vessels in the area and there was no guarantee that they could remove the tumor]; 2) leg amputation or 3) euthanasia. Obviously, we chose option 3. We felt that with all the other things going on that he would have had a hard time with the amputation and even if they could of removed the tumor it would have probably returned in six months. After talking to the vet and to each other and spending time with Boudreaux we chose to make him comfortable and to let him go. It wasn't easy, but as I watched my Sweet Prince drift off to sleep I knew he was in a better place. Thomas and I have been concerned for over a year now that he wasn't the energetic, happy dog we had raised. He slept most of the time and rarely left his kennel. Even though he has only been gone a few hours the house and our hearts already feel empty. We already miss his scent, grunts, groans and snorts. He was a wonderful companion and was a big part of our family for twelve years. He will be greatly missed. Good-night, sweet prince. And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.