Friday, October 11, 2013

Nine Years Ago Today . . .

. . . Thomas and I were legally wed in Massachusetts. That makes nine years of marriage (only in Massachusetts), although I think with the recent Supreme Court decisions we are considered legally married in the United States but not in New Mexico. I think we are getting closer to being married in New Mexico since some county clerks have been issuing marriage licenses to same sex couples. I think either the Legislature or the New Mexico Supreme Court will make a decision for marriage equality within the next year. So we have been married for nine years but we have been together almost 24 years. That number amazes me - with the divorce rate among heterosexuals hovering around 50% it is a triumph that a homosexual couple can make a relationship last that long with all the negative societal pressures we have to endure. Someone at work once said I was lucky to have found the right person. I both agree and disagree. I don't think that making a relationship work is all about finding the right person. That is part of it, but I feel that it takes some work as well. There is compromise in different situations, acceptance of each others quirks and faults, talking through problems and figuring out solutions and most of all finding the best in each other and supporting that. Don't get me wrong, I do consider my self lucky to have Thomas in my life and I know that we have an incredible and very special relationship. I also know that both of us have worked hard to keep it going. On December 30, 2014 Thomas and I will celebrate our 25th anniversary. We have already begun talking about what we want to do to celebrate that auspicious occasion. It will probably be a trip to somewhere we have never been - places mentioned are Costa Rica, Hawaii or South America (Peru and the Galapagos Islands). Even though this isn't the anniversary we used to celebrate our relationship we still think it is special and we do acknowledge it. It is also special since October 11th is National Coming Out Day. I feel that by living our lives openly and freely it will make things easier for young gays to come out and believe in themselves and know they are not alone. Hopefully this country will eventually remove all discrimination and religious beliefs from the law when considering the rights of individuals. So anyway - Happy Anniversary to Thomas and I and Happy Coming Out Day to all the brave and wonderful gays that have accepted themselves and have talked to family and friends about who they really are.

No comments :