Being Gay in the 60's

Let's go back and take a look at gay history through the decades beginning with the 1960's. I am starting with this decade for two reasons - 1. I was born in 1961 so I felt that I wanted to learn more about what was happening as I came into this world and 2. The gay rights movement really began during this decade with the Stonewall Riots. So lets see what was happening with our community during the 'Swinging Sixties'.

1960

• San Francisco's Daughters of Bilitis hold the first U.S. public gathering of lesbians.
• The Homosexual Law Reform Society (HLRS) holds its first public meeting in London with over 1000 attendees.

1961

• First openly gay person runs for public office in the U.S. (Jose Sarria [a drag queen] runs for San Francisco Board of Supervisors).
• Czechoslovakia and Hungary decriminalize sodomy.
• The Rejected, the first documentary is televised on KQED in San Francisco on September 11.

1962

• Illinois becomes the first U.S. state to remove sodomy law from its criminal code.

1963

• Israel decriminalizes de-facto sodomy and sexual acts between men by judicial decision against the enforcement of the relevant section in the old British-mandate law from 1936 (which in fact was never enforced).

1964

• Canada has its first gay-positive organization - ASK, and its first gay magazines - ASK Newsletter (Vancouver) and Gay (Toronto).
• Life magazine runs a positive cover story on "Homosexuality in America".

1965

• Everett George Klippert is imprisoned in Canada for homosexuality (arrested for private, consensual sex with men).
• Conservatively dressed gays and lesbians demonstrate outside Independence Hall in Philadelpha on July 4.

1966

• The National Planning Conference of Homophile Organizations is established.
• The Mattachine Society stages a "Sip-In" at Julius Bar in New York City challenging a New York State Liquor Authority prohibiting serving alcohol to gays.
• First U.S. gay community center opens, in San Francisco.
• First transgender public uprising at San Francisco’s Compton’s Cafeteria.

1967

• In September, The first issue of "The Advocate" sells out all 300 12-page copies.
• Oscar Wilde Bookshop, the world's first gay and lesbian bookstore, opens in New York City.
• The Black Cat Tavern in Los Angeles is raided on New Year's day by 12 plainclothes police officers who beat and arrested employees and patrons. The raid prompted a series of protests that began on January 5, organized by P.R.I.D.E. (Personal Rights in Defense and Education). It's the first use of the term "Pride" that came to be associated with LGBT rights.
• England and Wales legalize male homosexuality as long as both men are 21.
• Chad decriminalizes homosexuality.

1968

• Reverend Troy Perry starts the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) in Los Angeles with a group of about 12 people.
  In Houston Texas, several lesbians are arrested on charges of cross-dressing because they were wearing fly-front pants.
• Paragraph 175 is eased in East Germany decriminalizing homosexual acts over the age of 18.
  Bulgaria decriminalizes adult homosexual relations.
• The American Psychiatric Association moves homosexuality from “sociopathic” category to “sexual deviation”.

1969

• Homosexual behavior legalized in Canada.
  FREE, first gay student group formed in the U.S.
  Bill C-150 is passed, decriminalizing homosexuality in Canada.
  On December 31, the Cockettes perform for the first time at the Palace Theatre on Union and Columbus in the North Beach neighborhood of San Francisco.
  National Institute of Mental Health study chaired by Dr. Evelyn Hooker urges decriminalization of private sex acts between consenting adults.
• At the Stonewall Inn on Christopher Street around 3am, the Stonewall Riots begin in New York City's Greenwich Village. The event is not reported in TIME & Newsweek until October of 1969.

The Sixties brought a lot of change for the gay community and I for one am thankful to all the people who stood up for themselves. It has really made things so much easier for us today. And I would hope that they are proud of what we have continued to do for gay rights. Tomorrow I move into the 70's.

What Is Gay Pride . . . To Me?

I recently read that gay pride is about visibility and I wholeheartedly agree with that statement. Therefore, we have parades, rallies, film festivals and more to make ourselves heard and seen. This is gay pride on a big scale and I think it is fantastic. It lets 'the others' know we are here and absolutely nothing they do or say can make us disappear. But I feel we can also show our pride on a small scale that can make just as big of an impact as the parades.

For me, my gay pride started when I first came out. It was slow at first and I only told a few people (one by one). Each time I talked with someone about being gay I gained more confidence and self acceptance. Literally my pride in who I was as a gay male began to expand. It started with a couple of friends and family who I felt I could trust. That lead to more confidence and then that gave me the strength and pride to talk with other friends and family. Eventually I felt that I could tell anyone I met that I was gay. Now I take pride in being gay - it is who I AM, not who I choose to be. When someone asks if I am married I say yes (Thomas and I have been together for 23 years and we were married in Massachusetts back in 2004) and make sure to let them know that I am married to a man. I no longer hide or try and make excuses - I speak and live the truth - and that gives me power and pride. Each time I choose to answer questions honestly and directly I embody gay pride. It lets people know I am not ashamed or embarrassed.

All the parades and rallies really help us with equality but I feel that each small step we take makes just as much of a difference. Each person we talk to about our sexuality and each time we choose to be honest spews forth gay pride and I believe that those one on one talks can leave a deeper impact as to who we are as gay members of society. So during this pride month (and hopefully throughout the year) talk to people - friends, family, coworkers, the person in the seat next to you on a plane, anyone you meet that wants to talk. Let them know you are proud of who you are - each and every day. I am sure that each and everyone has their own version of gay pride and I hope that you are expressing it.

Me - The 'Gay' Me

Today is the second day of Gay Pride Month and it is my birthday. So I decided to write about me - the 'Gay' me. Saying that feels really weird because I actually feel 'normal' compared with everyone else on earth. It is just the fact that I am attracted to men that makes me different. Now here is my story.

This is my 52nd birthday and things from my youth still play a prominent role in my everyday life. For the past few weeks I have been thinking about a lot of things and why I can't get them out of my head. It amazes me how when something happens now my head will fill with memories from my childhood and totally devastate me. I have tried counseling and it helps for a while but my subconscious still gets the best of me at times. Reality tells me that the things I am thinking really aren't true but my entire being embraces it as true. Let's go back in time and reminisce.

1962

I was born in Lafayette, Louisiana in 1961, I was raised Catholic, and my family really didn't 'talk about certain things. Some things I remember about my early childhood are my Dad making comments about 'Queers' on TV and one of my Aunts (who happens to be a lesbian) calling me sissy. There was also no encouragement for anything that I liked doing. I loved to draw and I loved music (I can't sing but I did play a couple of instruments), I also loved reading and school.

1965

What I remember about these things is being told my grades weren't good enough (even though I usually made A's & B's), I had no rhythm and when I played my instruments I was just making noise, and that drawing was a waste of time. As I grew older I just felt that I couldn't do anything right because no matter what I did my Dad seemed to find the flaws. This lead me to critique everything I did. The critique was always picking out the errors and then trying to fix them (literally I tried to make everything exactly perfect).

1967

Unfortunately no matter what I did the flaws were still found and pointed out to me. I remember crying myself to sleep trying to figure out why I was so stupid and incompetent. I was still pretty young at this time so I didn't have feelings about men or being gay. Except for one. My Dad had a friend (I think his name was Richard and he worked for the phone company) who would visit and I do remember that I liked being around him. Nothing ever happened and I know I wasn't having any sexual feelings about him but I now realize this was probably one of the first clues that I was gay.

As I got older and really noticed that the other boys were talking about girls I realized I could care less about any of that.

1974

Finally my brain synapses connected and I put two and two together. I was more interested in boys and that made me one of those 'Queers' that my Dad made jokes about. All of this totally freaked me out, what if people knew I had these feelings (and I suspected that some did since my Aunt was already calling me sissy). I then went into trying to fix the flaws so that no one would know and that made things worse. Getting involved with sports was a disaster and pretending to like girls just felt awkward. Life went on and my thoughts and emotions were at constant battle. So I kept pretending and failing and worrying. In high school I really tried to hide my sexuality but I was only fooling myself. This fact was confirmed by the constant name calling and being beat up in the locker room after PE or after tennis practice. To this day I don't know what I did that upset the guys so much that they felt belittling me was necessary. I can honestly tell you that I never tried anything with any guy during this time - I never even looked at any of the other guys so that they wouldn't think I was checking them out. Most of the time I wouldn't even take a shower, I would just change and try to get out of the locker room to avoid any of the unpleasant name calling or beatings. I am sure that lots of people thought I was the most disgusting smelly person in school.

1979

Being raised in southern Louisiana contributed to my fear of being gay and it affected lots of young men the same way. I graduated high school with about 350 people in my class. There was always talk that this guy or that guy was gay but I never connected with any of them and it really wasn't anything that was ever proved - it was all just gossip. After high school (years later) people did start coming out but living in Lafayette still didn't allow me to be my true self.

1987

After two years of college and not doing well I quit and just worked. This didn't sit well with me - I really wanted a degree and a career. One year after I quit school I made an appointment with a career counselor at USL (University of Southwestern Louisiana) in Lafayette - it is now the University of Louisiana at Lafayette. I took some different test and then did some volunteer work at a local clinic. Eventually I found what I wanted to do. I wanted to be a Physical Therapist. I went back to school and took my prerequisites and started applying to different PT schools in the south. I was accepted by Texas Womans University in Denton, Texas and made a quick decision to go there. I now know that I wanted out of Lafayette so I could try and be myself. Again the encouragement was minimal - the first thing my family said was "Why do you have to move so far away?" instead of congratulations that I was going back to college. Things in Texas got a little better and I didn't perseverate about being gay like I did in high school but I still felt awkward. I was attending a woman's university and men were the minority, so people knew who we were - we stuck out like sore thumbs. So I played it cool (or so I thought) and eventually got my degree. During all this time I never connected with anyone (male or female) for a long term relationship - that could have been because I was really focused on school.

Then it happened, during my last internship I met someone and the majority of my fears dissipated. I had no doubts that this was the person I was supposed to be with - and it was a man. I met Thomas through my clinical instructor (she was Thomas' Mom) at the beginning of my internship. We spent as much time as we could while I was finishing school and somehow we made the decision that we wanted to try and make a relationship out of this. My internship was done in mid December, I then returned to Houston to finalize things at school and then went to Denton to graduate (this was December 1989). For Christmas I returned to Lafayette to spend the holidays with my family and to prepare to move to New Mexico. I didn't even mention Thomas to my family I just told them I was moving to Santa Fe for a job. Again, no encouragement but that didn't stop me. I knew I had to be true to myself and see if this relationship would work.

1990

On December 30, 1989 I arrived in Santa Fe on a snowy evening to begin what has become a 23 year marriage that has really changed my life. Family and friends have been accepting of the relationship (except for one who told me that since we wouldn't be together in heaven we couldn't be friends here on earth) and that has helped and things have gotten better with accepting my sexuality and knowing this is who I really am. Thomas is also a very supportive and encouraging man. He always supports me in whatever I want to do. Unfortunately the demons from my childhood still surface and I have to fight hard to control them - sometimes I win and sometimes the demons win. But I still try and Thomas' love gives me the strength to keep trying to make it all work. I am so glad I took the chance and moved to New Mexico, being gay has its challenges but things are getting better and the amazing changes we are experiencing are encouraging that maybe our gay youth won't have it so hard.

Happy Pride everyone and it really does get better!

2011

Gay Pride Month - June 2013

June is Gay Pride Month and I have decided to try and post something every day this month related to gay pride or gay history. I started with posting the picture at the top of the blog. This picture comes from Kelly at Rambling Along in Life . . . which he posts every year and challenges people to place it on their blogs or other social media for the month.

The advances made in the United States and around the World are encouraging and admirable but we still have a long way to go. The more we talk to people, the more we take pride in who we are, and the more we are 'out' then the easier it will be for people to know we are part of the World and deserve all the rights afforded anyone else. President Obama has made history by embracing gay rights and marriage equality. You can read President Obama's Proclamation for this year's Pride at Towleroad. The progress we are making needs to be credited to all the gays and lesbians who came before us and bravely stood up for who they were. I for one am thankful for their actions. They have allowed me to live openly with my husband for the past 23 years.

Here is to a month (and a lifetime) of Pride - lets honor all the gay heros who came before us by continuing their fight for equality.

Ready to Bloom

Every year I look forward to the blooming of the chollas on our property. They have the most beautiful purple flowers coming off the harsh spiny branches. This morning I was walking around the property and noticed that the chollas are starting to bud. I will be keeping my eyes open for when the buds open so I can get some pictures of the flowers.

Cholla Buds

Burning Fires!

New Mexico is in its third year of drought and we are experiencing it first hand here in the northern part of the state. On Thursday a fire started just north of Pecos. They are calling this one the Tres Lagunas Fire. It started from a downed power line. At first we weren't seeing the smoke but this afternoon it started moving toward Santa Fe. The fire has burned about 2500 acres so far and is 0% contained. Then this afternoon a new fire started near the town of Jemez Springs. This is called the Thompson Ridge Fire and started when a tree hit a power line. The smoke from this fire is also moving toward Santa Fe. As of this evening 700 acres have been burned and the fire is 0% contained. As Thomas and I were eating dinner we could smell the smoke so we went outside to check what was going on. The smoke from one or both of the fires had moved into Santa Fe and the mountains were blocked from view. I decided to grab my camera and get a picture of all the smoke. You can read updates on both these fires at New Mexico Fire Information.

You can barely see the Sangre de Cristos through the smoke.

Thompson Fire Sunset looking towards Jemez Springs.

A Walk Down Canyon Road

Today I had a few errands to run and for a change I finished early. That gave me some free time to head over to Canyon Road and take a walk. I enjoy walking around Santa Fe to see all the art around town and Canyon Road is packed with public art. I park on Canyon Road as close to Paseo de Peralta as I can and begin my walk from there. I then walk as far as the Tea House and then turn around and head back to the car. The weather today was perfect for a Spring day in Santa Fe - the temperature was in the mid to high 50s and there was a gentle breeze. Extremely pleasant for a stroll down a beautiful road full of art. I don't usually go into any of the galleries, I enjoy the outdoor art much more. Anyway, I spent about an hour and a half walking and taking pictues - it was a perfect way to spend the afternoon. Here are a few pictures of the art I saw today.