Monday, June 10, 2013

The "Sanctity" of Marriage

noun \ˈsaŋ(k)-tə-tē\
plural sanc·ti·ties
1 : holiness of life and character : godliness 
2a : the quality or state of being holy or sacred 
: inviolability 
b plural : sacred objects, obligations, or rights
noun \ˈmer-ij, ˈma-rij\
1a (1) : the state of being united to a person of the 
opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and 
contractual relationship recognized by law 
(2) : the state of being united to a person of the same 
sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage  
b : the mutual relation of married persons : wedlock 
c : the institution whereby individuals are joined in a 
2 : an act of marrying or the rite by which the married 
status is effected; especially : the wedding ceremony and 
attendant festivities or formalities 
3 : an intimate or close union 

I have to say when I decided to write a post about this topic I thought it would be simple and straight forward. You know the typical stuff - gays will ruin the sanctity of marriage - but they ignore all the divorces and adultery and abuse. But I am finding it is much more than that. As you can see the definition of sanctity above clearly relates to God and religion, holding things to a higher standard per se. So if opponents of same sex marriage truly believe in the sanctity of marriage then there shouldn't be any divorce or adultery. You said vows in front of your God then you should honor them - if you don't then you really could care less about the sanctity of marriage and all you are doing is trying to impose a restriction on someone by trying to use any excuse you can think of.  As I read things I was engulfed by the obvious issues - Newt Gingrich and his cheating, divorcing and three marriages; Britney Spears and her 55 hour marriage; Kim Kardashian and her 72 day marriage; etc., etc., etc. - and I felt sadness that we as gays are being used for the destruction of marriage. There is so much divorce which for me means that we as a society are incapable of caring for one another, we can't respect each other even when we make vows to do so. Now don't get me wrong I am not judging - I know that not every relationship works out and things happen and I for one have no problem with divorce. But I am not the one spouting that gays will take away the sanctity of marriage.

I am not very religious and I truly feel that most people hide behind their religion. They use it to make themselves seem superior and to condemn others. I have never read the bible in its entirety, I have only looked things up. And usually after reading I was more confused. I never saw the bible as a "rule book" and I never saw it as a guide for how we should tell people to live. My personal thoughts on the bible are that each individual should read and use the bible (if they want to) as a resource for their own personal life and actions. As for the Ten Commandments and the Golden Rule I do think there is a place for them in society. They just make sense.

Let me get back to the sanctity of marriage. I didn't actually read the bible on this subject but I did search the internet for quotes and information from the bible on this subject. I read all kinds of things. But in the end it all comes down to one thing. The sanctity of marriage is what the two people involved in the marriage believe it is. If your definition of the sanctity of marriage is one man and one woman then that is what you should do. If you believe it is open for other partners (and both parties in the marriage agree) then so be it. But under no circumstances should the sanctity of marriage be defined by what you thing everyone else should do. A marriage is between the people who enter into that commitment and them only. So no one should project there beliefs onto someone else.

For my personal beliefs I think a marriage is between two people who love each other and want to live together in a committed relationship. And I believe that the sanctity of that marriage is what the two people agree it is and as long as they honor that then I believe that the marriage is sacred. I am really tired of being told that my relationship is wrong. We have been together for 23 years and we love and respect one another. We were married in Massachusetts and that is the only place it is recognized. We all know that married couples have lots of government and social benefits that gay couples don't. So you can keep your sanctity by getting married in a church but it isn't legal unless you get a marriage license from the government. I don't really care about your sanctity, only mine. I just want the legal protections a marriage by the government provides.

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