A Few Dozen Steps Backwards

Yesterday I wrote about trying to think more positively. I thought it was working but today is totally different. In the last 24 hours I have had some very negative comments sent to me and it just deflated me. I got really defensive and wrote back. My comments were not received well. And I understand why - I wrote back in the heat of the moment and I let my emotions get the best of me. I am very thin skinned and I don't take criticism well. If I hear something negative it just triggers all kinds of emotions and I get very down on myself. I spent most of today taking walks and thinking about things. I wasn't able to get out of the funk. I am still very down and have distanced myself from the activity that brought about all these feelings. I guess I have more to work on than I thought. I am hoping that I can work through these feelings quickly and get back to feeling positive. But when you have been told you are worthless since you were a kid it becomes ingrained and it doesn't take much for those feelings to surface again. It amazes me that no matter how many positive things I hear it is only the negative ones that I remember. Maybe one day I will feel normal and good and have a little self confidence. But for now I am going to lay low and hope that things get better soon.