You Can't Repeal Love

In May of this year the Maine legislature passed a bill to allow same sex couples to wed and the Governor signed that bill into law. Yesterday the residents of Maine voted to repeal that law. This makes Maine the 31st state to oppose gay marriage by popular vote. Currently there are five states in the Union that allow gay marriage - Massachussetts, Vermont, Connecticut, New Hampshire and Iowa. So are we to assume that because 31 states don't want gay marriage and only five approve of it that it is wrong. To me all I get out of it is hate and discrimination. One of the main reasons that opponents of gay marriage give is that it is morally wrong, that the bible condemns homosexuality.

Now, I am not an expert on the bible but I do know that most people who use the bible only use it when it suits them. What I do know is the basics of how you treat people and I know the ten commandments and the golden rule. I feel that if you live by the ten commandments and you do unto others then you are doing pretty good - especially since we know that all humans are infallible - even though most of the religious right seem to think they are perfect and can dictate their beliefs on everyone else. I am not just being emotional and I am not making generalizations. I am speaking from experience.

I have been in a committed relationship for 20 years now but to the moral majority (and I use this term with tongue in cheek - because most of them are no more moral than I am and they are certainly not the majority - they just act like it) that doesn't mean anything. The reason I bring this up is I am trying to prove a point, actually several. First, most religious organizations can't even get along with themselves. Look back in history and you can see consistently how factions of one religion broke off because they had different beliefs - they couldn't even work out their differences - couldn't they have prayed together to solve their problems (I mean really - I can't tell you how many times that people have told me they will pray for me). On a more recent and personal experience one of Thomas' brother left his church. He and about half the congregation decided they couldn't get along with the rest of the church so they left. He even worked for them and quit his job over it without having another job to go to. Now should I trust this guy to make a decision about whether or not I should be allowed to marry the man I love. Second, most religions agree that sex before marriage is morally wrong and living together before marriage is also wrong. My dad recently got remarried. He had been living with his current wife for about 10 years before they actually got married. Why did they wait so long? The woman he married was divorced and she was waiting to get an annulment from the church so they could get married in the church and they did. So the matter of them living together was overlooked by the church. So it seems if you pay the church to erase your first marriage then you can remarry in the church and all is good in the world. Don't you think God still knows what you did and just getting a human to erase it on paper makes it okay in the eyes of God. Third, let's talk about honoring your mother and father. Thomas has four brothers and none of them do anything to help out with taking care of his dad and they weren't very much help when his mom was sick as well. I remember Thomas' mom crying and disappointed because one of his brothers had to do things with the church so he cancelled coming for Thanksgiving dinner. So the two gay guys take the responsibility of taking care of the parents but are not allowed to get married. I write these things so that the flaws of the religious are shown and so that maybe people can see that their thinking and justification of opposing same sex marriage is just that - flawed.

There is a rumor out there that quite a few people believe that homosexuals have a choice in their sexual orientation and that they can choose not to be homosexuals. Really! So I guess one morning I woke up and decided I was going to be attracted to men. For what reason - so I could be taunted and teased, so that I could be beaten up in the locker room in high school, so I could be condemned to hell, so I could be denied the right to see my partner if he is in the hospital, so I could be denied the right to marry the man I love and get all the same rights and privileges associated with that union. So I pose to you heterosexuals who see homosexuality as a choice - did you choose to be heterosexual? So, if you did couldn't you just as easily choose to be homosexual? I thought not. Please use reason with this, I am gay because I am gay - that's it - there is no mystery and I don't need anyone to find a 'gay gene' to prove why or why not someone is gay. It wasn't the way I was raised, it wasn't the way I was treated, I wasn't recruited and I certainly wasn't brainwashed - I was born this way - I am a child of your God and I know he loves me as I am even if you don't. And I know in my heart I don't have to be heterosexual to be loved by God.

All this fighting to deny rights to other humans is just crazy and the reasons are even crazier - like the one that if they allow gays to marry each other then the next thing that will happen is that people will want to marry their dogs. That is really insulting - I am now nothing more than a dog - just because I am gay I am no longer human. If the opponents of gay marriage really believe this then I feel that their IQ is severely compromised and how can people take them seriously.

There are so many other crazy reasons that they are using and you can read all of them at Gay Marriage: The Arguments and the Motives. I am not a proponent of outing gay people - I feel that each individual has the right to live their life as they see fit. But I am encouraging, pleading and even begging any gay individual that hasn't talked to their family and friends about it to dig deep within themselves and come out. As we talk to family, friends, coworkers and anyone else we are close to people will be more comfortable with homosexuality and I know in my heart that one day we will have all the rights that we are suppose to have. And to the people who are using religion to fight gay marriage I say to you - I don't want or need your blessing or the blessing of the church but I do expect the legal recognition from the government that I pay taxes to and for whom I vote. Fortunately this is only a setback not an end. Gays will not go away because of this. We have been around since the beginning and we will be here until the end and we will eventually get the right to marry legally with all the benefits.